Scott MacLeod
    Theater & Performance Texts

Written 1996, as yet unproduced. Photo is from my performance "Open World" in Beograd, Yugoslavia on July 21st, 1990.

A COFFEE-HOUSE

Lights up on three characters seated at a small table.

Strabismus the Archigion (waving his left hand near his left ear, as if shooing a mosquito):
Tentantun.

Polcross the Phlogician (taking a quick sip from a glass of golden liquid just before he speaks):
Excabremus.

Giolconda the Escricci:
I can see Kirk, and Yoeman Rand, dressed in pastel abstract Hawaiian shirts and khaki shorts, carrying round trays loaded with margaritas and crab dib, but I’m not really in the same room with them.

(Giolconda the Escricci flings himself backwards out of his chair onto the floor, where he lies motionless.)

After a long “significant” pause:

Strabismus the Archigion (waving his left hand near his left ear, as if shooing a mosquito):
Excabremus.

Polcross the Phlogician (taking a quick sip from a glass of golden liquid just before he speaks):
Tentantun.

Lights out.

Lights back up very soon after.

A man in a suit stands facing the audience, holding a microphone, as if reporting live from the scene.

Bechtidus the Straumpdort:
A detailed analyses of these dramatized events reveals-

A man in the audience snorts loudly and derisively, jumps up as if exasperated, and stomps out of the theater. Bechtidus stares sorrowfully after this man even after he’s left the theater. About fifteen seconds after the man has left, the lights go out for good.